Selfless Forgiveness or Selfish Forgiveness?

I’ve been doing more thinking on forgiveness. In fact, what really got me thinking were the wonderful comments on my previous post “Unconditional Forgiveness: Is it Realistic?”

I’ve been thinking about our motives behind forgiveness? That is, is our forgiveness selfless, as is the case with God’s unconditional forgiveness of our sins? Or, is our forgiveness centered on selfish reasons?

It would be great to be in a position of giving out unconditional, selfless forgiveness, but I have to believe that many of us hand out “selfish” forgiveness. What do I mean? Well, I think that we make the decision to forgive others (or ourselves), because it helps us lift that anger/resentment/hurting off our shoulders. “We” feel better when we forgive others. “We” feel the stress leave when we forgive others. We’re not really taking into account what our forgiveness does for the other party. Our motives are somewhat selfish in this case aren’t they? And, doesn’t this contrast with “selfless” forgiveness. You know, how God forgives us because he loves us and wants us to be at peace. Isn’t He really thinking about the other party here?

Maybe selfish forgiveness is okay. Maybe there is absolutely nothing wrong with the motives behind the handing out of forgiveness. Maybe I have dug down too deep on this, and it really isn’t even an issue. What do you all think? Do we need to think about why we forgive others? Is selfless forgiveness even realistic, or was it meant only for the One that can truly achieve it?

note: picture courtesy of http://relations.kimcm.dk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/forgiveness.gif

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Unconditional Forgiveness: Is it Realistic?

I've been thinking about forgiveness! Mainly, is it best to forgive everything? Or, are there some things worth holding on to? Is forgiveness "situational?" Or, should forgiveness be unconditional? Is unconditional forgiveness even realistic?

I try not to hold grudges. Now I may hold onto something for a few days, but I usually try to get it dealt with before it becomes a huge burden on myself and others. Maybe it was someone that wronged me. Maybe it was me that wronged someone else. Maybe it's a major life situation. Maybe it's a minor misunderstanding. Whatever the case, I feel forgiveness is best, and I usually try to deal with the issue/person/situation fairly immediately (are the words "fairly immediately" a bit of an oxymoron? Maybe, but I think you understand my point anyway).

When I'm really bothered by something, I tend to look to God. Why? Well, because his forgiveness is unconditional. He's always forgiving. It doesn't matter what your sin was, you are always forgiven. Think about that for a minute! Isn't that amazing?! I mean, how often can we say that we've truly forgiven everything and everyone for the wrongs committed on us?

I found a blog by Raymond Salas, that speaks about this very issue of forgiveness. His post, The Power of Forgiveness, drives home a lot of good points. I suggest you take a look at it. I really enjoy his new outlook on forgiveness:

“To forgive does not mean that you condone, agree with, or give your approval to anyone or anything. Rather, it is a powerful acknowledgment to yourself that ‘I am willing to let this go. I am willing to move forward in my life.’”

Is it time we realize the power of Raymond's words? Do we need to learn to forgive more? What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Can you truly forgive everything? What situations or interactions would be hardest to forgive?